Post by Your Home Companion on Feb 27, 2016 20:28:49 GMT
How to Speak to Someone with Alzheimer's
I’ve heard it time and time again, “I’ve tried to reason with my mother, time and time again, but...” And therein lies the problem, you can’t reason with someone who has Alzheimer’s. They may be listening, but they’re not comprehending. Unfortunately, this is the devastation that Alzheimer’s brings.
If your four-year old child comes to you with a far-fetched story of how he saw an alien spaceship land in the backyard, would you tell him that there is no such thing as aliens and if there were, they certainly wouldn’t be landing in the backyard? No, most parents would roll along with the story and ask questions. "Were you scared? How many aliens were there?" Well, this is the approach we should take with our loved ones who suffer with dementia.
Dad tells you that nice Mrs. Keller, who lives next door, stole his ice cream from the freezer. A positive response would be along the lines of “I’m so sorry that happened to you. You seem really angry. I would be upset, as well, if that happened to me.” Our responses really should be similar to the way we treat our young children -- knowing that their capacity for understanding and comprehending is not always there, just as with those who are suffering from Alzheimer’s.
As a child, we believe our parents to be super strong and incredibly smart and those thoughts stay with us into adulthood. Until there comes a time when they no longer understand or comprehend simple concepts and we realize that our invincible parent is no longer invincible. We do what we can to bring them back to reality and make them understand, and while we may find shimmers of light in the fog, it is only temporary. And so we find ourselves saying “I’ve tried to reason with my mother/father, time and time again…”
Instead of forcing them to join us back in the present, we have to follow them along their journey. It will not only cause less stress on your loved one, but will make you less stressed and bring both of you more happiness.
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